“Courage, Poise, and Self-confidence.”
— I’m back. I failed.
I failed. “This recruit” only made it a month into bootcamp before he broke; and the Marine corps. has no place for broken things.
Reason for Early Seperation: Convenience of the government; failure to adjust with deep mood.
I apologize for disappointing you all. I want to thank everyone who sent me letters, because i was in a state where everything was dark, and you were my points of light. I wouldn’t have made it even a month without you.
Facebook isn’t the place to apologize properly, and I hope to tell you all face to face; because you deserve that much. The story, and the apologies. I’m always able to talk if you need me. Expect a phone call soon if you sent me a letter.
"The day before I went home, I recieved 6 pieces of mail. All of which, came from people who believed in me, and wanted me to finish what I started. It was a lot like a knife to the heart, mostly because, by not finishing.
I had stabbed those people who believed in me, in the back. A part of me is sad that I didn’t make it. And, as I was told, I will have to live with that for the rest of my life. It casts doubts on my thoughts. Did I win? Did I fight to escape the noose and succeed? Hollow victories and large casualties. I have to make this worthwhile.
I have depression, and I need to talk to people about it. This heavy, choking, angry, snarling feeling that keeps me tied down. No more. I need to stay positive, I need to match this pride, and stubborness, to good will and happiness.
It will be hard, and already my heart feels weighted.
However, I have already proved there is nothing more to fear,. I am glad my recruiter sent me the plaque that embodied why I came to the marine corps.
"Courage, Poise, and Self-Confidence"
And more! Raaaah!!
head held high. I am different from before. Perhaps scarred, but powerful still, and soft. Most importantly; still soft, and kind-hearted.
Cowards dont make it to the eyes. I’ve always been this predator. Eyes set, unwavering. Sometimes locked In wonder, usually in anticipation. I must bore too many holes. Of course it’ll make you scared; most prey tremble, wracked with terror at the glint of fangs behind a hungry grin. Maybe i’m some form of cannibal, maybe I thought you were too. I’ll not settle for anything less than an ouroboros.
caught-in-a-rats-nest asked: I'm dying to know who you are
Well hi there Pretty lady. I’m what’s known as a hotpot of contradictions. But I guess that describes what I am rather than who. We should play that game where we take turns asking eachother questions. I’ll start.